Living with Someone With an Allergy

Husband again. When I met the Wife, I had a bit of a learning curve when it came to living alongside someone with a severe allergy. Personally, I do not have any allergies and lived life under the "see food" diet - I saw and ate. I also grew up in an era where severe food allergies were not as commonplace, so it was never really something that was front-of-mind. Throughout the dating and early marriage stages, there were some lessons that were learnt that I thought might be useful if one has a (potential) life partner with an allergy.

Her Allergy is Your Allergy

In choosing to, at first date, then marry someone with a severe allergy, I've in essence adopted that allergy as my own. Admittedly, I was never a huge seafood connoisseur before and since then, I haven't consumed seafood for a very long time. In our earlier years, I used to refer to it as my "second-hand allergy". With the possibility of giving my wife a reaction if we kiss, enjoying that piece of sushi or shrimp cocktail is not worth the risk (or the alternative of being relegated to the couch!). Even when ordering at a restaurant, it's much easier to tell the server that I have an allergy as well, rather than the long(er) explanation of, "I don't have an allergy, but I don't want give my wife a reaction so please treat my food as if I do."

You Have to be Her Advocate

As the Wife can attest, it can be tiresome to self-advocate as it relates to allergies. Whether it's talking to restaurant staff, hosts at a dinner party, or scouting out a potluck table, your partner can't do all the work.

Please Don't Joke About It

For someone that does try to keep things light, I can't recall being guilty of this myself, but rather when we were with someone else. Before we got married, we went out with some people where someone talked about how funny it would to slip me some seafood just before our wedding day (see above as to why). While they didn't actually do it, I do question why under any other circumstance it would be "funny" to joke about potentially ruining someone's wedding day and/or risk poisoning the bride. Really?? 

In this day and age where it's generally inappropriate to joke about someone's health conditions or disabilities (amongst other things), allergies should be no different.

And while I'm on the topic - if someone tells you they have a seafood (or any) allergy, please don't respond by telling that person they don't know what they're missing and recalling that time you went to such-and-such a place and had the best, fresh seafood in your life. 

It Can Be More Encompassing Than a Meal

One thing worth keeping in mind is that it can affect your social calendar or travel plans. Your friends really want to go for a certain cuisine? Maybe we'll hang out another time. Cocktail party where they're serving seafood finger food and shaking hands? Might have to call it a night. Travelling out of town? Seafood might be more popular and readily available than at home, so you might need to have some backup plans or choose another destination. Going to a buffet? High risk of cross-contamination so you might need to make other plans (probably for the best as my waistline is thanking me on that one).

Random Lessons

A few other anecdotes along the way. Back in my university days, I worked at a fast food establishment, and saw what happens to a stray french fry when it sits in a deep fryer for a few hours. When we first got together, I thought hot deep fryer oil would kill any seafood proteins and mitigate the risk of a reaction. News Flash: that doesn't happen.

A few years back, I was listening to talk radio where the topic was about a waiter who served a customer seafood, despite being told about the allergy. It seemed the host and some of the callers (not affiliated with the linked article) weren't taking the topic too seriously, with some callers even questioning how a patron could not know the taste of seafood. My response would be as someone who grew up in rural Alberta, I was taught that antifreeze has a sweet taste and you should ensure your pets aren't around if you're working with it; otherwise, they will consume it and it's toxic. Would I personally know the taste of antifreeze? Of course not, it's toxic to humans as well, and I'd rather not make that discovery the hard way. For the same reason, someone who is deathly allergic to seafood likely wouldn't know its taste until it may be too late.

Conclusion

I should conclude this by saying I don't feel I've missed out by having to give up seafood, nor do I regret doing so. Whether it's a life partner, a child, or a roommate, there might be situations where it would be necessary to make lifestyle changes to accommodate that person.

Calgary Farmers’ Market West

When the wife decided to post onto our little blog again, she informed the husband that he had to dust off his writing skills and make a few contributions as well – so with that in mind, hi, I’m the husband! This is my first foray into the blogosphere, but since I’ve been along for the ride of these culinary adventures, I feel I can make a meaningful contribution to the subject (under supervision, of course).

We decided to try something a little different and review a food hall, as opposed to a single vendor, so we’ll be recapping our adventures at the Calgary Farmers’ Market West location. For those who might not know the history, the Calgary Farmers’ Market started in 2004 in a historic airplane hangar in Currie Barracks, itself a former Canadian Forces Base in southwest Calgary. The market relocated to southeast Calgary near Blackfoot Trail and Heritage Drive in April 2011, where it continued to be a popular destination. The Calgary Farmers’ Market opened a second location in northwest Calgary in the summer of 2022, conveniently located just off the Trans-Canada Highway near Stoney Trail. We’ve had the opportunity to visit it a few times as it offers options for food to take home or a Food Hall to enjoy a prepared meal.

In our more recent visits, we’ve had opportunity to try Sabores Mexican Cuisine, Gemstone Grass-Fed Beef Kitchen, and Margarita’s Dishes – all of which are seafood free! We have also enjoyed Pie Cloud and Deepak’s Dhaba, which do have some seafood offerings so it’s best to avoid anything deep fried, but which still offer plenty of non-seafood options that are safe from cross-contamination. If you really want to avoid any risk of seafood, there are also vegan/vegetarian options. Admittedly we haven’t tried V Burger or Hearts Choices at the Calgary Farmers’ Market West, but we have been to their stand-alone restaurant locations in the past and would recommend both. There are others that we hope to review as they didn’t have any seafood on their menus, but alas, there is only so much one can try at a time!

Gemstone Kitchen Roast Beef sandwich

Tacos from Sabores

Combo plate from Margarita's Dishes

Seafood-free friendliness: As it is a market with a wide variety of offerings, there is seafood on the premises, whether from in the Food Hall or a fresh seafood vendor. However, neither the husband or the wife have experienced any “fishy” smells or other airborne triggers, like you might find in similar markets in more coastal areas, so we were free to wander the market and enjoy bright and open seating areas. There are a variety of seafood-free options, so whether we’re making it our destination or grabbing a bite on the way to the mountains, this is a diverse culinary option.

Hello (again)

Prompted by Google's policy of deactivating inactive accounts, we were wondering how our little blog from yesteryear was faring. To our surprise, there was a little bit of engagement, so thank you!

This blog was initially started during a time of immense stress in our lives where going to restaurants provided a reprieve. Things quickly became overwhelming though and unfortunately, this was one of the things that fell by the wayside.

However, over time, the husband has reminisced about this blog and the culinary adventures we went on where we documented our seafood-free eats and experiences. Things have certainly not changed considerably over the past 11 years (!) where we still have to advocate for ourselves and navigate the task of finding places to eat that can accommodate seafood allergies.

One of the things we have sadly observed is that food allergies really are an imposition to others. Our social lives have actually been negatively affected where we have lost friends over having a seafood allergy. While this has proved to be a blessing in disguise (we likely wouldn't want these friends in our lives if they're upset about a medical condition that cannot be helped), we have noticed the challenges that arise when others feel that their choices are being "infringed" upon. Since we are all too familiar with dietary restrictions, we aim to be sensitive and empathetic to others, whether in selecting accommodating restaurants or in preparing specific meals when hosting. And yet, this same courtesy is not always extended to us :(

Another place that has been fraught with tension has been the workplace. Some have been better than others, but there is definitely a sense of resentment when one cannot participate in workplace activities - from others, not the person suffering the allergy, mind you! We won't get into all the details, but suffice it to say, the wife had to endure a mandatory work meal to a restaurant that no one told her was an oyster bar (until they brought them all out to the tables!). Let's take someone with a gluten allergy to a bakery and not let them know (okay, maybe that one's too obvious). But really? In this day and age of a myriad of workplace accommodations? Sigh.

As much as we had hoped that things would change for the better with an increased understanding of allergies, not to mention an increased prevalence, it sometimes feels like no time has passed at all since we began this blog. It's both disheartening but also a slight bit encouraging in that maybe we can help shed light on why food allergies are so important to be aware of in social and work situations.

All this being said, we are considering bringing Seafood-Free Eats back, especially as we have certainly eaten our fair share of Calgary and beyond. We will have to look at better balancing our capacity this time as we would hate to start, stop, start, and stop again. Let's hope that 11 years later, we can make it stick a little better!