Living with Someone With an Allergy

Husband again. When I met the Wife, I had a bit of a learning curve when it came to living alongside someone with a severe allergy. Personally, I do not have any allergies and lived life under the "see food" diet - I saw and ate. I also grew up in an era where severe food allergies were not as commonplace, so it was never really something that was front-of-mind. Throughout the dating and early marriage stages, there were some lessons that were learnt that I thought might be useful if one has a (potential) life partner with an allergy.

Her Allergy is Your Allergy

In choosing to, at first date, then marry someone with a severe allergy, I've in essence adopted that allergy as my own. Admittedly, I was never a huge seafood connoisseur before and since then, I haven't consumed seafood for a very long time. In our earlier years, I used to refer to it as my "second-hand allergy". With the possibility of giving my wife a reaction if we kiss, enjoying that piece of sushi or shrimp cocktail is not worth the risk (or the alternative of being relegated to the couch!). Even when ordering at a restaurant, it's much easier to tell the server that I have an allergy as well, rather than the long(er) explanation of, "I don't have an allergy, but I don't want give my wife a reaction so please treat my food as if I do."

You Have to be Her Advocate

As the Wife can attest, it can be tiresome to self-advocate as it relates to allergies. Whether it's talking to restaurant staff, hosts at a dinner party, or scouting out a potluck table, your partner can't do all the work.

Please Don't Joke About It

For someone that does try to keep things light, I can't recall being guilty of this myself, but rather when we were with someone else. Before we got married, we went out with some people where someone talked about how funny it would to slip me some seafood just before our wedding day (see above as to why). While they didn't actually do it, I do question why under any other circumstance it would be "funny" to joke about potentially ruining someone's wedding day and/or risk poisoning the bride. Really?? 

In this day and age where it's generally inappropriate to joke about someone's health conditions or disabilities (amongst other things), allergies should be no different.

And while I'm on the topic - if someone tells you they have a seafood (or any) allergy, please don't respond by telling that person they don't know what they're missing and recalling that time you went to such-and-such a place and had the best, fresh seafood in your life. 

It Can Be More Encompassing Than a Meal

One thing worth keeping in mind is that it can affect your social calendar or travel plans. Your friends really want to go for a certain cuisine? Maybe we'll hang out another time. Cocktail party where they're serving seafood finger food and shaking hands? Might have to call it a night. Travelling out of town? Seafood might be more popular and readily available than at home, so you might need to have some backup plans or choose another destination. Going to a buffet? High risk of cross-contamination so you might need to make other plans (probably for the best as my waistline is thanking me on that one).

Random Lessons

A few other anecdotes along the way. Back in my university days, I worked at a fast food establishment, and saw what happens to a stray french fry when it sits in a deep fryer for a few hours. When we first got together, I thought hot deep fryer oil would kill any seafood proteins and mitigate the risk of a reaction. News Flash: that doesn't happen.

A few years back, I was listening to talk radio where the topic was about a waiter who served a customer seafood, despite being told about the allergy. It seemed the host and some of the callers (not affiliated with the linked article) weren't taking the topic too seriously, with some callers even questioning how a patron could not know the taste of seafood. My response would be as someone who grew up in rural Alberta, I was taught that antifreeze has a sweet taste and you should ensure your pets aren't around if you're working with it; otherwise, they will consume it and it's toxic. Would I personally know the taste of antifreeze? Of course not, it's toxic to humans as well, and I'd rather not make that discovery the hard way. For the same reason, someone who is deathly allergic to seafood likely wouldn't know its taste until it may be too late.

Conclusion

I should conclude this by saying I don't feel I've missed out by having to give up seafood, nor do I regret doing so. Whether it's a life partner, a child, or a roommate, there might be situations where it would be necessary to make lifestyle changes to accommodate that person.

Calgary Farmers’ Market West

When the wife decided to post onto our little blog again, she informed the husband that he had to dust off his writing skills and make a few contributions as well – so with that in mind, hi, I’m the husband! This is my first foray into the blogosphere, but since I’ve been along for the ride of these culinary adventures, I feel I can make a meaningful contribution to the subject (under supervision, of course).

We decided to try something a little different and review a food hall, as opposed to a single vendor, so we’ll be recapping our adventures at the Calgary Farmers’ Market West location. For those who might not know the history, the Calgary Farmers’ Market started in 2004 in a historic airplane hangar in Currie Barracks, itself a former Canadian Forces Base in southwest Calgary. The market relocated to southeast Calgary near Blackfoot Trail and Heritage Drive in April 2011, where it continued to be a popular destination. The Calgary Farmers’ Market opened a second location in northwest Calgary in the summer of 2022, conveniently located just off the Trans-Canada Highway near Stoney Trail. We’ve had the opportunity to visit it a few times as it offers options for food to take home or a Food Hall to enjoy a prepared meal.

In our more recent visits, we’ve had opportunity to try Sabores Mexican Cuisine, Gemstone Grass-Fed Beef Kitchen, and Margarita’s Dishes – all of which are seafood free! We have also enjoyed Pie Cloud and Deepak’s Dhaba, which do have some seafood offerings so it’s best to avoid anything deep fried, but which still offer plenty of non-seafood options that are safe from cross-contamination. If you really want to avoid any risk of seafood, there are also vegan/vegetarian options. Admittedly we haven’t tried V Burger or Hearts Choices at the Calgary Farmers’ Market West, but we have been to their stand-alone restaurant locations in the past and would recommend both. There are others that we hope to review as they didn’t have any seafood on their menus, but alas, there is only so much one can try at a time!

Gemstone Kitchen Roast Beef sandwich

Tacos from Sabores

Combo plate from Margarita's Dishes

Seafood-free friendliness: As it is a market with a wide variety of offerings, there is seafood on the premises, whether from in the Food Hall or a fresh seafood vendor. However, neither the husband or the wife have experienced any “fishy” smells or other airborne triggers, like you might find in similar markets in more coastal areas, so we were free to wander the market and enjoy bright and open seating areas. There are a variety of seafood-free options, so whether we’re making it our destination or grabbing a bite on the way to the mountains, this is a diverse culinary option.

Hello (again)

Prompted by Google's policy of deactivating inactive accounts, we were wondering how our little blog from yesteryear was faring. To our surprise, there was a little bit of engagement, so thank you!

This blog was initially started during a time of immense stress in our lives where going to restaurants provided a reprieve. Things quickly became overwhelming though and unfortunately, this was one of the things that fell by the wayside.

However, over time, the husband has reminisced about this blog and the culinary adventures we went on where we documented our seafood-free eats and experiences. Things have certainly not changed considerably over the past 11 years (!) where we still have to advocate for ourselves and navigate the task of finding places to eat that can accommodate seafood allergies.

One of the things we have sadly observed is that food allergies really are an imposition to others. Our social lives have actually been negatively affected where we have lost friends over having a seafood allergy. While this has proved to be a blessing in disguise (we likely wouldn't want these friends in our lives if they're upset about a medical condition that cannot be helped), we have noticed the challenges that arise when others feel that their choices are being "infringed" upon. Since we are all too familiar with dietary restrictions, we aim to be sensitive and empathetic to others, whether in selecting accommodating restaurants or in preparing specific meals when hosting. And yet, this same courtesy is not always extended to us :(

Another place that has been fraught with tension has been the workplace. Some have been better than others, but there is definitely a sense of resentment when one cannot participate in workplace activities - from others, not the person suffering the allergy, mind you! We won't get into all the details, but suffice it to say, the wife had to endure a mandatory work meal to a restaurant that no one told her was an oyster bar (until they brought them all out to the tables!). Let's take someone with a gluten allergy to a bakery and not let them know (okay, maybe that one's too obvious). But really? In this day and age of a myriad of workplace accommodations? Sigh.

As much as we had hoped that things would change for the better with an increased understanding of allergies, not to mention an increased prevalence, it sometimes feels like no time has passed at all since we began this blog. It's both disheartening but also a slight bit encouraging in that maybe we can help shed light on why food allergies are so important to be aware of in social and work situations.

All this being said, we are considering bringing Seafood-Free Eats back, especially as we have certainly eaten our fair share of Calgary and beyond. We will have to look at better balancing our capacity this time as we would hate to start, stop, start, and stop again. Let's hope that 11 years later, we can make it stick a little better!

Cedar's Deli

This is a restaurant that we both really enjoy, so much so that Cedar's Deli catered our wedding rehearsal dinner; a little different but it turned out to be a hit.  Therefore, it's no surprise that the husband met up with a friend there recently to enjoy a delicious beef donair.  While the wife has had amazing shawarmas in Montreal, Cedar's is definitely her favourite for Mediterranean food in Calgary (she prefers the chicken over the beef).

The best thing about this restaurant?  It's completely seafood-free!  That means that we don't even need to think about allergies when we walk in these doors.  What we do think about is how filling these wraps are and how flavourful the meat is - not to mention the fresh toppings.  Not only is it a healthy meal, it's also quite economical considering how large the wraps become.

The husband's partially-eaten beef donair (with a baklava in the background - mmm).

Seafood-free friendliness: We couldn't ask for more; as long as Cedar's doesn't add seafood to their menu, we'll happily come back to have one of our favourite lunches!

Perogy Boyz Food Truck

This is a food truck that the husband has been wanting to check out for a while and we finally did it on a drizzly day near the university.  After seeing Perogy Boyz Food Truck on Eat Street, it seemed like it would be a good opportunity to try unique perogy fillings that aren't easily found at restaurants or stores (side note: the husband really, really likes cottage cheese perogies but has not found them readily available in Calgary - any suggestions?).  The irony is that in the end, the husband went with the traditional perogies so that he could see how they fared against past perogies he's had.

Considering the fact that getting a perogy fix in Calgary is limited, the husband deemed his traditional perogies to be good; however, they didn't necessarily taste that different from our favourite store-bought perogies.  The wife's perogies were more uncommon although she was confused at first because she forgot that the sauerkraut was a filling and not a topping.  The strange thing is that she didn't realize this until a few perogies later, which meant that there was almost no taste differentiation between the sauerkraut perogies and the traditional perogies.  Despite this, we did appreciate the amount of bacon and sour cream we received which lasted until the end of our meal.  The sausages on the other hand were a little small for our liking and accompanied by a mustard that was so strong that we abandoned it.

While the meal was filling enough for a lunch, we did find it to be quite costly and the wait time was much too excessive as it was 45 minutes of standing in light rain, something that might not even happen in a sit-down restaurant (the time it took, not the weather conditions).  Since most people get a limited amount of time for lunch, Perogy Boyz needs to become more efficient in order to attract and retain the lunch crowd.

The husband's traditional perogies and knackwurst sausage.

The wife's sauerkraut perogies and Kielbasa sausage.

Seafood-free friendliness: What's positive about Perogy Boyz is that they don't have seafood on the menu at all.  What's negative is that it felt like we were paying "market price" for our food and waiting for them to catch it live.

Why Risk It

In watching some videos on Anaphylaxis Canada's YouTube account, we came across the Why Risk It website for youth and young adults dealing with allergies.  One page of interest was the dining out page with the statistics on what American food service personnel thought about allergies; we're not sure if it's comparable in Canada but what a shock!  The statistics that jumped out at us the most were:

• 24% thought allergic individuals could safely consume a small amount of an allergen
• 25% thought that removing an allergen from a finished food (e.g. taking nuts off) was enough to provide a safe meal

That's a quarter of the people that could potentially touch your food!  While we recognize that it does take additional time and work to take care of restaurant patrons with allergies, we shudder to think of what the alternative could be.  What a good reminder for us to speak up and eat safe.

Also, be sure to check out the Why Risk It blog; there are lots of entries from others who have suffered from allergies.

Angel's Drive In

Angel's Drive In is just the place that we envision would make an appearance on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives due to their unique decor and atmosphere so we were curious to see how the food fared.  The husband has been here before but it was a new experience for the wife.

It's sort of hard to miss in Bowness!

While we noticed that fish and chips, a fish burger, and Caesar salad were offered here, they didn't seem too prominent on the menu so we didn't think to mention the seafood allergy (although in the future, it would probably be prudent to do so...).  However, we both lived to blog about it so we are going on the assumption that the burgers didn't touch anything else.  Neither of us were too hungry so we each ordered a mozzarella burger filled with a mayonnaise-based sauce, onions, mozzarella, bacon, lettuce, and tomato.

Pretty substantial burgers; we're glad we didn't get fries on top of this!

The burgers were filling and they tasted just like homemade burgers that perhaps Mom would make for us.  The patties had that familiar grilled taste and the toppings were fresh and generous.  They weren't gourmet burgers but at the same time, they were pretty much what we hoped for in a little drive in like this.

Seafood-free friendliness: There is seafood on the menu, particularly fish, so it's probably worth mentioning an allergy; however, it looks like people mostly come here for the beef burgers and the floats/milkshakes (based on our observations when we dined there).  Angel's seems to be a family-friendly place where you can get comfort food at a reasonable price so we'll likely return there this summer to try other things on the menu.